First piece of evidence: A review of The Noise Coming from Inside Children

Here we go, straight from a shitty newspaper/magazine in my garage. I searched for this thing for weeks because I knew I had it, gave up, but just tried again and found it after only about half an hour. If this doesn't get you interested, nothing will.

Review of The Noises Coming from Inside Children

After much hesitation, consideration and outright deliberation I am going to give this work a negative review, and in doing so I will make hypocrites of all of us. I will only be the most recent of many people who have done the same. Like most people, I heard about this story through someone else's complaining of it. First one person, then several. Well, one can only hear a particular thing cursed and denounced so many times before they get curious, and I recently gave in to my curiosity.

I'll be honest and admit that I did something no critic should ever do; I started the story with the intention of giving it a positive review. I desperately wanted to be the one voice of dissent, and also wanted to show people that there is value in that which so effectively disturbs and disgruntles us. I thought fans of horror should recognize that more than anyone else.

But I cannot give The Noises Coming from Inside Children a good review, because I hated it. I hated the entire experience of reading it, and only through some strange combination of obsession and masochism did I finish it. Because of this fact, I realize that I am a hypocrite, as is anyone who declares themselves to be a fan of 'horror stories'.

It is a shame so few people will actually finish this story. I suspect I am one of only a very few who actually did, although few people will want to admit this because of their desire to bash it in its entirety. This is because it was so desperately difficult to finish. It is a shame more people don't read this story because it would surely lead to us carefully changing the name of the genre we all love. I know now that 'Horror' certainly isn't the name for it. 'Creepy Fiction' might be a better choice. If more people read The Noises Coming from Inside Children then the genre of 'Horror' would be reserved solely for it alone. And no one would ever claim to be a fan of it.


  1. I've been looking for a copy of this. Where did you find it?

  2. Can you post a scan of the article, without some hard evidence this seems at best a little bogus but I'm still intrigued.

  3. gotta agree with dabeetrus. with something thats so iffy and controversial, you need to provide more empirical evidence.

  4. Its possible that someone named Ed Kann published this story but I can honestly say that it was not the Ed Kann that writes Rocketship Empires. Because he is me. I never wrote anything under that title.

  5. For fuck sake Edward just because you share his name doesn't mean you ARE him. Stop being autistic as fuck or I'll knock you the fuck out.